I have taught creativity classes and explained non-judgmental behavior to thousands of people over the past decade. How we judge things--the daily events in our lives, the movies we attend, conversations with friends and relatives--effect everything we do.
A few years ago, I was presenting at a creativity center in Istanbul, Turkey. About 12 presenters gathered on the first night to discuss where to go for dinner. One of my colleagues suggested Chinese food. As soon as he said it, I replied, "You've got to be kidding. Who wants to go for Chinese in Istanbul?"
"I do," he laughed. "I thought you taught non-judgmental behavior!"
I hadn't realized how quickly I dismissed his idea. But, did I learn a lesson? Nope. Later that week, he mentioned buying something as a present for his wife that he could have easily purchased at home. Once again, I added my unwanted comments. "Why bring her back that when this fabulous city has so many exotic items?"
He looked at me, shook his head and said, "There she goes again."
That trip and those encounters, have replayed in my mind many times. While I teach people how to be non-judgmental, I have a comfort zone from which I judge. We all do.
Our past forms our perspective. So do our expectations. These things make up our comfort zone. If we only judge things from our comfort zone, we're missing the opportunity to grow, to learn, to see things from exciting new perspectives that will open our lives to more creative ways to doing things.
Our comfort zone is important to consider when experiencing new events. Is this fitting into what we know or is there too big a stretch. Some people love change--they rearrange their furniture periodically, try new restaurants, or are the first to get the new styles. Others like things stable and unchanging, everything very familiar, not "rocking the boat." Change presents different obstacles to different people.
Consider trying some of these "comfort zone smashers" to open up new possibilities in your professional and personal life:
- Be open to new information. Learn to look at things from the presenters point of view. Don't respond immediately with how it looks and feels to you. Instead, allow the information to soak in.
- Listen to feedback. You'll honor other's opinions while gaining important information for yourself.
- Don't be defensive. This may be the hardest step in changing judgmental behavior. We become defensive to protect ourselves. Examine what you are protecting. Is it worth closing yourself off to new ideas?
- Learn to see humor. Comedy is another way of seeing situations in a different light. If you take a step back to laugh, sometimes at yourself, you just might learn something new.




Saying and doing are two different things,aren't they?
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