Hedria

Friday Quote: Opportunities in Adversity

Many times we revisit the positives and wonderful things that have happened, reflect on the adversity and what might have been better. And, if we are fortunate and insightful, find ways to change adversity and struggles into strengths and opportunities. In an article by Doug Mellgren of the Associated Press Al Gore was quoted as he prepared to accept the Nobel Peace Prize:

"Seven years ago...I read my own political obituary in a judgment that seemed to me harsh and mistaken- if not premature...But that unwelcomed verdict also brought a precious if painful gift: an opportunity to search for fresh new ways to serve my purpose."

When I faced the death of my husband I knew life was not going to get better judged on our life together, I knew it would be different and the difference would become a new way of life for me.

Look ahead with strength and vigor to see that "Life doesn't always get better - it gets different, and that difference can be wonderful." They say that every time a door closes another opens...But those hallways can be difficult!

Don't cry over things money can replace!

The holiday rush is coming up fast. The retailers and media are pushing shopping sooner and sooner. WOW, look at the calendar,it is only 2 weeks till Thanksgiving. Veteran's Day is around the corner. Where did the time fly?  It is time to take a moment and get our priorities straight, what is important to us and what is not.

As we prepare for seeing friends and family, get exhausted in our efforts to satisfy ourselves and others, we might loose touch with what is truly important. My dear grandmother, Annetta Gellman, always told me: "Don't cry over things money can replace!" Yes, that means the lost earrings, the broken dish, the misplaced jewelry(I hid mine in such a good hiding place it took 9 months to 'find' it). Don't waste your tears and energy on lost and missing objects.

Grandma's saying had more meaning. She was referring to seeing and understanding what is important in our lives, and putting our best effort and tears there! Although not a warm huggy type of person, family meant everything to grandma. We read so much about WWII. I remember a flag with three stars hanging outside her window signifying her 3 sons were serving their country.

Please, take a few minutes time to think about what is important to you. What are you are thankful for this holiday season? Remember, don't waste you energy "crying over things money can replace." 

People who get on in this world

George Bernard Shaw is one of my favorities for his wit and truths. The summer after my husband died I was working on developing and marketing my seminar/workshop business. I attended a play at the Shaw Festival in Niagara on the Lake, Ontario Canada.  I read this quote and it motivated me to continue forging ahead. I end my seminars with Shaw's words:

"People who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them." 

Hope you enjoy it and profit from it as much as I have.

Do What You Have To Do

My mom was a very practical, no nonsense business woman. In her later years I had to place her in an assisted living home. It was extremely difficult for me, as I knew she loved her apartment and her freedom. It was made easier for me because of a saying or motto she used frequently. When faced with a challenging, difficult, or unplesant task, she would often say:

"You do what you need to do."

Knowing this helped me cope with my uneasiness in changing her living situation. It has also helped me forge ahead in my own life when I have an unplesant task to accomplish. I do what I need to do! 

Thanks Mom!

Magic Questions

The technique I use to overcome fears and concerns is to change my thoughts. "I can't do it."  "It never worked before." and "We never did it this way." I reframe these thoughts into questions that can be answered - magic questions - that invite answers. The sentences begin with these invitational phrases:

"How might I.....?

In what ways might I.....?

Instead of saying: "I don't have a real job!" say "How might I get this career going?" 

Instead of saying: "I don't have enough money!" say "In what ways might I earn enough?"

It works! Instead of being defeated by an overwhelming task, you invite yourself to be positive and look for answers!  Try it on something simple. Change "I have nothing to make dinner with tonight." to "In what ways might I prepare dinner from what I see on the shelves?"

Friday Quote: Slow Down, Accomplish More

Many times in our busy lives we run and rush from activity to activity. I found myself doing this repeatedly and accomplishing less than I was hoping for.  Paradoxically, I found that if I slowed down I accomplished more!

Why do I say "Slow Down, Accomplish More?" because when we concentrate on what we are doing, focusing and giving it our full attention we are less likely to make mistakes, more likely to do a better job, therefore completing the task instead of adding it to the list of things to complete. It is an opportunity to learn to enjoy the journey, enjoy the process, not always looking for the end.

So before rushing through the next activity, Stop and Think..."Do I need to put in a little more time and effort here?" "If I do will it be done and off my to do list?"

Friday Quote: Enjoy Life, this is not a dress rehearsal

Did you hear the one about the person doing seminars? They asked participants what they wished they had done more of ......and .......none answered ........work!

Our work and our careers are important, but it is not the essence of our lives. Family, friends, colleagues, and loved ones are where most of us find our joy and meaning. In a poll of young people this month 20% of the population polled ages 13- 24 named spending time with their family as the thing that gives them the most pleasure.

So, when working late, attending a meeting and missing an evening with family - ask yourself is there another way you could do this!   

Friday Quote: Change is constant, Growth is Optional

One thing for certain in life is that there is always going to be change!

We age, if we have children they grow, their lives changing and our resposnibilities differing. We achieve new milestones working on our careers and at different jobs. Life is all about change and when we learn to accept this as the natural ebb and tide of life it helps us accept the natural change in our lives.

So I like to say that: "Change is constant...and growth is optional".

While we face change all the time, learning to accept the change and appreciate it by fitting it into our lifestyle is an option. We can resist change, fight changes or find ways to adjust, finding personal growth and rewards as the benefit.

 

Friday Quote: Life Dosen't get better... it gets Different

When my husband died people would say to me: "It is going to get better"  and I would think: "How can it get better? I had a wonderful life with Paul. It can't get better."

I found that if "Life Doesn't get better...it gets different!

I had to learn new criteria to judge my life by accepting new thoughts, new ways of doing things and new experiences. I learned to appreciate these different ways and found that life might not get better, but it can get different and that difference can be wonderful.

It is important to let ourselves defer judgment on new ideas and new experiences and see life as a playing field with many options. This can bring excitement, new adventures and experiences into our world.