Turning 50 – Turning My Life Upside Down

 
When I turned 50, I was completing a course for my Master’s degree in Creativity and Innovation at Buffalo State College. I had returned to school at the ripe age of 47 saying, “I’m going to turn 50 in three years whether I go back to school or not. Wouldn’t it be great to have a Master’s degree by then?”

Like many of my female contemporaries, I married at a young age, and started my family soon after. But, unlike many women in the 1960’s I went to university pregnant, a situation unheard of in those days. With the help of parents and childcare, I finished my degree after my daughter’s birth. It was an interesting time. I was not permitted, as a pregnant woman, to do my student teaching in the public schools so I finished my requirements at a private nursery school.

I had the urge to return to school for an advanced degree when my youngest child went off to college. The “empty nest syndrome” lasted about 20 minutes, the time it took to clean out his closet and room. I was looking for a new adventure to explore. Always an entrepreneur, I had shared management of a successful clothing business with my husband for years. More recently, I served as the designer and director of programs helping youth find jobs and single women with young children return to college. It was now my time to return to college and look for a new career.

Going back to school in your 40’s is a radically different experience than the first time around. First, you don’t go unless extremely motivated, and (unless you are a fool) you take a program that you find exciting and interesting. I was so excited about the Creative Studies Program, it wasn’t until I was deep into the second year of courses that I truly thought about what this new career might be, and examined the question, “Can I make a living doing this?” I looked at my professors, realizing they were not only providing a great education, they were also working in the field facilitating groups and presenting seminars. Wow! I could make money doing all this fun stuff.

There was an International Creativity Conference held in Buffalo in December 1990, and I was one of the main facilitators for a group of international scholars. What joy to take my newly found skills and use them with the top people in my chosen field. It was an exhausting, exhilarating week. During the week there was a graduation ceremony for those of us completing our theses and our courses that year. My husband and mom came to applaud and congratulate me. My dad was there in spirit, having passed away just a year earlier. My three kids celebrated with us that summer at a party to commemorate my husband’s 60th birthday and my upcoming graduation.

A new degree, a new beginning and the completion of a difficult three years. My husband Paul had been my rock, supporter and sounding board throughout my time in school. He was always there to cheer me on, listen to me complain, help during my dad’s illness, or to comfort mom when I was at school and unavailable. If I loved him before, it was now that I developed a different bond with him. We had worked together for years and now he was helping me develop a new confidence, along with a new career and direction. It was confusing at times and new roles for both of us, but the challenge was an interesting one and he never wavered in his support of the newly emerging me.

In January 1991, I set up my office in our home and started marketing my skills. I secured my first professional job doing a presentation entitled “Expand Your Creativity, Maximize Your Potential”. I still can picture the chalkboard listing other calls and possible opportunities. Life was confusing, interesting and full of possibilities. Our daughter was engaged and, along with the excitement of the new career, we now had a wedding to plan.

But the joy was not to last. One afternoon in early February Paul came home early and we went for a walk in the park. What a glorious day — the sun was shining, the weather lovely and it was fun to share and talk.

Paul never made it home. He died of a massive coronary. My life changed forever.

I was alone for the first time in my life. I was frightened and I needed to support myself. It was sink or swim. I could return to the ease of retailing or fight on and work on developing my new career. I had just started my consulting business the month before. I knew I did not want to return to retailing, so I forged ahead. With debts to be paid, and a wedding to plan, I started redefining my life. That was 10 years ago.

Business was slow at first and I had to make opportunities happen. My son, a freshman MBA student, arranged an invitation for me to speak with his class and to another class of law students. That led me to develop seminars for other university groups. My daughter was working at the human resource department of a large corporation and had me come to teach creativity courses. She hired me the first time because I was her Mom, but brought me back by popular demand. Other alliances and long hours of work brought me more clients and new ways to position myself.

I spent the next few years presenting seminars at international conferences, honing my skills, and writing articles to be published. It was a long and lonesome path, working for myself, aligning with colleagues and learning how to market in a competitive industry. It was also an exciting adventure, traveling to new places, meeting many people and practicing new ways of presenting material to a variety of groups. I was paying my dues and loving every minute of it.

Since that slow start so many years ago, I have had the opportunity to work in South Africa, Turkey, Germany, South America and Poland, doing creativity and innovation seminars, facilitating meetings and motivating participants to open themselves to new ideas. My client list now includes Colgate-Palmolive, Viacom, MTV, International Flavors and Fragrances, many universities, local educational institutions and not-for-profit groups.

It has been a rollercoaster ride at times – uplifting, thrilling highs and plunging, terrifying lows. But it has never been dull. It is a strange and exciting fact that my new skills were the skills that got me through the first years of grieving and kept me in the world of consulting, training and coaching. When I found the field of creativity, it changed my life, and when my life changed, my knowledge of creativity defined my business and helped me rebuild my life.

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